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3 Old Business Mantras That are in Need of a Serious Revival

Summary:. It doesn’t matter how many people live by old myths about ruling with an iron fist, or how many generations have repeated it; it’s still not enough to  have it followed blindly. It’s the readiness to look after other human beings and drive them forward with kindness and a genuine care for their wellbeing that can truly set you apart. When you change your mindset to look for the good instead of the bad in the people around you, you notice just how fantastic they are and that they matter.

Decades ago, little Jeff Bezos was once travelling with his grandparents in an RV. Bezos was obsessed with doing random arithmetic, and when they read on a billboard, that each puff of smoke takes two minutes off of your life, he set down to work out the number of puffs of cigarettes his grandmother must have taken. Believing that they would be impressed with the work, he announced that he had figured out that his grandmother knocked 9 years off of her life. Unsurprisingly, she started crying and his grandfather stopped the RV, took young Bezos aside and told him “Jeff, one day you’ll understand it’s harder to be kind than clever.”1

Here are 3 workplace notions that should be challenged through the lens of kindness and genuine care.

Failure is not an option

But, of course failure is an option! Leaders often think that failure has a blameworthy cause, and so fail to learn from it effectively3. Learning is a process which requires compassion and nurturing. When we use fear as a strategy, it activates the regions of the brain that correspond to threats, taking important resources away from thinking on your feet and problem-solving with ease4. So as a star leader, know that failure doesn’t just happen; it is necessary too. Without understanding this and being kind to your team members for making their own mistakes and learning from them at their own pace, you may end up closing a lot of opportunities for growth.

The customer is always right

To care for your customers is one thing; to let your good, hardworking employees get scorned over some unreasonable demands put by certain customers – that is plain wrong. Happy employees have the capacity to create happy customers. In the case that you are responding to an unhappy customer, remember to consider your employee’s emotions with kindness and have their back. Not doing so makes them unable to trust you or willing to be managed by you5 and also negatively impacts your leadership presence. Research also shows that it’s only when employees expect their managers to be open to input that they actually share important information on pertinent issues facing the organization.

People only work if you constantly criticize them

It has been a longstanding fact in psychology that the carrot is a better motivator than the stick, or as this research clearly states, “Positive reinforcement works exceedingly better and faster than punishment.”7 Leaders tend to exercise control through instilling a fear that if you don’t deliver, you are in danger. It’s when you offer kindness, support, and safety  to your stakeholders, they start thinking creatively and work smarter. The only way to have people do great work, therefore, is through feedback and appreciation.

Impact on Leadership

Kindness is what brings down tempers and sensitivities, helps us work together and takes the load off of a shoulder. Leaders that genuinely acknowledge the emotions of others acceptingly and offer help, are the ones that employees can call dependable and trustworthy. Inculcate openly the feeling of support and safety so that people show up as their best selves.

Star Mindset

True leaders are those who are strong and kind. True when it comes to giving them direct feedback so they can learn what they do well and where they can improve. And in a direct, honest manner. There is nothing wrong with encouraging individuals to become better, but there is something wrong when you do it in an unprofessional manner.

3 Immediately Applicable Action Steps

  1. When your employee makes a mistake, ask them about what you can do to help them.
  2. Do random, unplanned acts of kindness at least twice a month. 
  3. At the end of every week, write down 5 things you did that week to help your employees perform better.

References

  1. Morgan, B. (2020, April 15). Three Ways To Create A Corporate Culture Of ‘Kindness. Forbes. https://www.forbes.com/sites/blakemorgan/2015/05/04/three-ways-to-create-a-corporate-culture-of-kindness/?sh=7f94da347962
  2. Edmondson, A. C. (2011). Strategies for Learning from Failure. Harvard Business Review. https://hbr.org/2011/04/strategies-for-learning-from-failure
  3. Elizabeth J. Carter & Kevin A. Pelphrey (2008) Friend or foe? Brain systems involved in the perception of dynamic signals of menacing and friendly social approaches, Social Neuroscience, 3:2, 151-163, DOI: 10.1080/17470910801903431
  4. Chamorro, T. (2020, May 11). 5 Ways Leaders Accidentally Stress Out Their Employees. Harvard Business Review. https://hbr.org/2020/05/5-ways-leaders-accidentally-stress-out-their-employees
  5. Scott, H. K., Jain, A., & Cogburn, M. (2021, November 21). Behavior Modification. PubMed. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/29083709/
  6. Groysberg, B., & Seligson, S. (2020, November 1). Good Leadership Is an Act of Kindness – HBS Working Knowledge. HBS Working Knowledge. https://hbswk.hbs.edu/item/good-leadership-is-an-act-of-kindness

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