Constructive Conflict: The Engage Response

Summary:

Leading a team is not an easy task. Conflicts are bound to arise and as a leader, it falls upon you to sort these out and get your team on the same boat. Conflict is okay, it is a sign that your team is problem solving. But, it is important to move these conflicts in a positive, constructive direction, rather than destructive. Destructive conflicts tend to result in feelings of frustration, dissatisfaction and reduction of productivity in the workplace.Â

You might have heard of the fight-or-flight response that human beings tend to go into during a stressful situation. This can be understood as two ways of dealing with a conflict that often make it destructive.

Keywords: #PersonalMagnetism #Energize #Engage #Charm

The Flight Response

In the flight response, the leader, and hence their team tends to avoid any sort of conflict or tension. There are minimal discussions around sensitive topics and important decisions, and decisions are reached at a premature stage, before enough information, pros and cons have been discussed. As an attempt to maintain team harmony, the leader and their team avoid being honest, state dissent and give feedback.The leaderâs discomfort with conflict increases the chances of a burst of conflict in their team over time, since they are only temporarily dealt with through avoidance, not by resolution. This might result in the team responding in passive-aggressive ways and feeling unheard, and the problem might keep coming up in future meetings.Â

The Fight Response

On the other hand, while the leader gives their team the opportunity to voice their opinions, they donât realize when it is getting destructive. Reaching to an amicable agreement seems almost impossible and rare. The leader might fail to intervene when the conflict is becoming personal and hurtful, hence destructive, which might not only have an impact on the efficiency of problem resolving, but also on the interpersonal relationships within their team.Â

The Engage Response

Constructive conflict can be encouraged and problems successfully resolved through the engage response. In the engage response, the leader encourages feedback and dissent and encourages diversity. As a leader, you have to model for your team by stating your own opinions, dissent and inviting dissent from your team. Another important quality of a leader who encourages constructive conflict is reading the non-verbal cues, recognizing when the conflict may become destructive and redirecting it towards a healthy debate. There are two main things you can do to encourage constructive criticism:

Creating a safe environment for team members

Be open to new ideas, feedback and other perspectives.
Taking time to listen to your team
Provide honest feedback, while staying clear on your positive intentions.
Encourage your team members to try new things, trust themselves and help them clarify their concerns, thoughts and feelings.
Acknowledge the role tolerance of different ways of working plays in creating an inclusive work environment.

Â Â Â 2. Bringing resonance and assertiveness into the workplace

You donât hide from stating your opinions and feelings.
You are aware of how much tension and conflict your team can tolerate, and can redirect when the conflict is becoming destructive.
You can be assertive, without being harsh, making your team feel unheard or shutting down the discussion.
You can reasonably challenge other perspectives, to move towards successful problem resolution.
You believe in the possibility of disagreeing without being disagreeable, and convey the message of tolerance.
You remind your team that the problem to be resolved is not personal, but for the greater good of the organization. You help your team see the bigger picture.
You model through humility, and donât shy away from being honest with your team when you might not know the answer.

Impact on Leadership

Coming to successful resolutions through teamwork and discussion reminds the team that the solution could not have been reached without them, and gives them a sense of belongingness and safety.Â As a leader, being self-aware and seeking understanding over agreement can inspire a healthy, united and productive work environment.

Tell me about a conflict or challenge youâve faced at work and what approach will you take now after reading about the ‘engage’ response?Â

Leadership Mindset

Star leaders encourage their team members to try new things, trust themselves and help them clarify their concerns, thoughts and feelings. They model through humility, and donât shy away from being honest with their team when they might not know the answer. They are aware of how much tension and conflict their team can tolerate, and can redirect when the conflict is becoming destructive.

3 Leadership Action Steps

Create a safe environment for team members. Be open to new ideas, feedback and other perspectives.
Acknowledge the role tolerance of different ways of working plays in creating an inclusive work environment.Â
Remind your team that the problem to be resolved is not personal, but for the greater good of the organization. You help your team see the bigger picture.

References

1- CPP Global Human Capital Report, (2008), http://img.en25.com/Web/CPP/Conflict_report.pdfÂ

2- Seitchik, M. (2019). How to Make Conflict Constructive. Bates. https://www.bates-communications.com/bates-blog/how-to-make-conflict-constructiveÂ

3- Staff, I. (2020, August 4). 6 practical pointers for creating constructive conflict at work. Insperity. https://www.insperity.com/blog/constructive-conflict/Â

4- Wolfe, D. (2021). How to Embrace Constructive Conflict. BetterUp. https://www.betterup.com/blog/how-to-embrace-constructive-conflict

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