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Being an Introvert, How to Talk in Meetings

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Summary: This idea that a leader has to be an extrovert, outgoing, or a people person is debatable. It’s no surprise that so many on the more introverted side, make amazing star leaders. With a little more practice and patience, you can build your executive presence and be the star too! Aren’t we always looking for people who think more, listen more, and talk a bit less? For most leaders, listening is usually the hard part and talking is far easier. Introverts can be great leaders because they are comfortable with listening.

How can introverts make themselves heard in meetings- one of the most intimidating environments for them? What can they do to be true to themselves and their work, without it affecting their performance or contributions? The answer lies ahead. 

A client company hired us1 to work on their new CIO who was chosen because of his technical expertise and high analytical skills. For him to get ahead and actually fulfill the role however, he would have to get over his shyness and be able to connect with other leaders and people and respond to their needs. What we realized is that he wasn’t actually shy, but rather underconfident, while being funny and respected in his inner circles. He slowly shifted from relying on his expertise alone and made lists of people he wanted to influence, sought audience with them and today can express and connect with whoever he needs to be a Star Leader.

Such shifts are definitely possible and both introverts and organizations hiring introverts have to re-realize their true power and authentic selves. What can introverts do to be true to themselves and their work, without it affecting their performance or contributions?

Prepare Your Thoughts in Advance

It’s a good thing if you believe in thinking before speaking. The problem is when you take a bit too much time in thinking and lose your opportunity to speak. One way to rectify this is to come a bit prepared. Keeping your thoughts prepared ahead of the start of a meeting will help you form a certain unique perspective on the subject as well. This boosts both your belief in self as well as others’, such that you speak more and they listen too.

Discuss Half baked Opinions as Well

In my time being an executive coach, I have coached CEOs who are not big talkers. In a fast-paced discussion or meeting, thinking too much without saying anything can quickly put you on the sidelines. Don’t stop thinking altogether – you must have some idea of what you want to say; and just when you get that idea, speak up. With enough belief in self you can be okay when your idea gets rejected or even find ways to adapt it according to criticisms and questions.

Highlight Your Thoughts, Not Yourself

One of the things about speaking up is that sometimes you might feel actual physical discomfort – sweating too much, or blushing, or getting cold hands. You can’t always help it. More often than not, you’ll see that it is the content that will weigh far more with your listeners, than the anxiety symptoms. Even if your knees are shaking, your unique perspective is what is in the spotlight. Starting in small spaces and talking enough to nurture belief in self. When you are confident in your mind; only then will your body feel comfortable in the situation.

Impact on Leadership

You want your colleagues and stakeholders to see you as someone who can bring great ideas to the table even. But what is stopping you from expressing your expertise? Research shows2 that managing self-belief is essential to seeing yourself as competent enough to mold an identity as a leader and enact leadership behaviours. This blooms into socialization, feeling a sense of belongingness with your team and where you work so that you can effectively share what you have got to offer. On the other hand, a decrease in the same self-belief closes us up, and enters a negative loop where you don’t think your ideas are worth sharing and you dilute your executive presence.

Star Mindset

Despite being an introvert, you are nevertheless capable of dominating your field, leading a sizable staff, and creating something bigger than yourself. As much as the world praises and pays attention to extroverts, it is gradually becoming aware of the advantages of introvert leadership.

3 Immediately Applicable Action Steps

  1. Start keeping paper and pen on hand with you to write down what you think, what you want to spend time articulating or gathering reason and evidence for. 
  2. When a potential idea that you are not completely sure about occurs to you in a meeting, frame it as a question to the participants.
  3. Practice speaking in small groups of people you feel comfortable with.

References

  1. Coach Vikram. (2021, April 8). Importance of Expressiveness to be a Global Leader. Executive Presence : Assessment, Coaching, Training. https://coachvikram.com/importance-of-expressiveness-to-be-a-global-leader/
  2. Rhodes, C. (2012). Should leadership talent management in schools also include the management of self-belief? School Leadership & Management, 32(5), 439–451. https://doi.org/10.1080/13632434.2012.724671
  3. Rousmaniere, D. (2016). How to Talk in Meetings When You Hate Talking in Meetings. Harvard Business Review. Meeting Management.

https://hbr.org/2016/04/how-to-talk-in-meetings-when-you-hate-talking-in-meetings

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